Unfulfilled Expectations

I’m sure most of you have experienced unfulfilled expectations at least one time in your life.  Someone expected you to do something only they failed to “tell” you!  They just assumed you knew or that you would somehow do it without them telling you?  This can happen in a marriage, in the workplace, etc.  It happens all the time.

 I realize there are some things in a marriage for instance that you might assume your partner should “say or do” – but don’t “expect” it either. Don’t be so hard on your spouse when he doesn’t “do” what you “expect”.  Could it be he is clueless??   I know it may "seem" simplistic or silly, but believe me, after having worked with many couples through the years it is not unusual for something to be "normal" for one spouse but totally foreign to the other!  There are many factors involved in poor relationships but unfulfilled expectations seem to rear their ugly heads most often.  So, how do you deal with it? 


For instance, if a husband has an area of weakness let’s say in regards to getting things done around the house, express to him how it makes you feel and ask for his help in this area.  Then PRAY!  The same holds true with other areas – not helping with the children, not picking up after himself etc. – don’t wait until the situation turns toxic – talk through things in peace time so that you don’t come across as demanding, unappreciative etc.  In a husband/wife relationship it is better to talk through some things rather than “expect” them to happen and then fume when they don’t.  This builds walls in the relationship and will erupt at some time in the future in “volcano” form!  You know the scenario – it goes something like this “You never do anything”, “You always do that”; “I hate that you don’t appreciate anything I do” and the list goes on and on.  The reality is he has some “good” areas, but right now all you see is the “bad”!  This does nothing to “help” the situation – all it does is put him in a defense mode and shut him down.  So allow me to save you some grief.  After you’ve shared the things that bother you with your husband – pray for him.  Yes, pray!

Ladies, PRAYER has been my secret weapon through the years and I can tell you from experience, it WORKS!!!!  Prayer changes things and it changes people – even your husband!  The Lord can do a much better job with my husband and the best part of it is I am not the nagging wife – I express my thoughts, desires etc. and then leave the results up to the Lord.  

So in conclusion, here ARE some things we CAN expect in life:

Expect misunderstanding.

Expect miscommunication.

Expect persecution.

Expect ridicule.

Expect mistreatment.

Expect suffering.

Expect rejection.

If we expect these things we won’t be taken by surprise!   What we do with these "expectations" will make all the difference in the world. We can choose ahead of time what we will do with it. For me – I choose to take it to Jesus and allow Him to do the work that only He can do.  Trying to get revenge or defend yourself will only make things worse.  Jesus knows the truth and eventually the truth will come out!   As I die to my expectations and die to “self”, He is increased and I am decreased. 

“Lord Jesus, help me to live for you and die to self.   I trust YOU Jesus to work out all the intricacies of my life, marriage and relationships.  It is YOU I look to as the author and finisher of my FAITH.”  Heb. 12:2


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